Fallacy of Argument

This world is going to hell in a hand basket. There are Jihad-planning Muslims in every nook and cranny of our streets, New Orleans is draining every penny from the pockets of our khaki Dockers, and all those damn Liberals can think about are trees, grass, and whatever “greenhouse gases” are. I mean, who is Al Gore anyway? Nothing but a presidential-race reject, if you ask me. How can he argue for the protection of his precious environment when his new 2008 Toyota Prius only cuts smog-forming emissions by 70%? That’s still 30% Mr. Green-y Pants…he acts like he cares about the environment when that 30% is depleting the ozone layer and contributing to the cesspool of carcinogens we call Los Angeles. Mr. Gore presents himself as “holier than thou” when it comes to environmental issues, but let’s look at reality people! He’s not entirely as “green” as he seems; his “hybrid Prius” is as much a part of the reason why lungs are black as my Range Rover, private jet, and yacht are.
Think about this: if people did what Mr. Gore wanted them to, millions of useless solar panels would blind everyone, causing them to crash their crappy plastic lumps of battery-driven “automobile” into lakes, marshes, and yes, you guessed it… even into trees! You’re telling me that the melted polyurethane wouldn’t do anything to harm the environment? Sounds counterproductive. We might as well condone the drunken driving of semi-trucks on residential side streets because it would be just as bad. With Al Gore behind the “environmental” wheel and boatloads of government money in his trailer, we’re headed for destruction.
It doesn’t make sense to me. Before those crazy Einstein-look-alike scientists got their grubby hands on things like pH tests and atmospheric monitoring equipment, the ozone layer and the trees were just fine! No one complained, and we used all the CFC’s we wanted to. Al Gore is always making it seem like normal American citizens care about things like this, but then again, he always has been a money swindler…constantly expecting a cut of the taxes to go toward funding his own tree-hugging projects. None of my friends are concerned with the environment; it doesn’t need to be a big deal until the radiation stops us from golfing at the country club on Sunday afternoons. George W. says not to fret, so we don’t fret, and neither should you.
It comes down to one thing, folks: either Al Gore and the rest of those liberals stop whining about imaginary holes in the sky or we’re destined to become a poor country and a prime target for terror (and I certainly don’t need those people driving up my gas prices anymore).